Diary of a Mad Marathon Runner in Training (Vol. 6)

Diary of a Mad Marathon Runner in Training (Vol. 6) 

April 24, 2017

Mile 1 (1.6km) - *starts run two hours later than planned, because it's 'that time of the month'* "Being a girl sucks! BUT, bright side...I've got my menstrual cup in, so there will be NO LEAKS 🙌🏽" #ilovetheearth

Mile 2 (3.2km) - "Shirt's coming off. Already. Not sure why I wore long sleeves as I left the house this morning? 🤔 Tan lines're gonna be on point when I'm done..."

Mile 3 (4.8km) - "Not really a fan of the smell of fish as I run." *sniffs my armpit for a better smell*

Mile 4 (6.4km) - "What kind of hand signal should I give today? Wave? Thumbs up? Shaka? The shaka is my favorite, but I feel like a poser - I'm not a surfer OR Hawaiian. A thumbs up is pretty cool, too. I like the Aggies, but I'm not an Aggie...but it's also like I'm saying 'hey good job, keep it up' to everyone that I pass. Eh, I'll just stick with a wave and smile. It's been working for me." 

Mile 5 (8km) - "People aren't near as friendly and eager to wave back on this new route as they are on the Fernleigh Track...it's a warm and beautiful autumn day, SMILE PEOPLE!"

Mile 6 (9.7km) - "I could really use some gum right now." 

Mile 7 (11.3km) - "I really just want calves like all these bike riders that keep zooming past me...IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!"

Mile 8 (12.9km) - "Riddle me this...why is the only person to tell me I'm beautiful today an 80+ year old man with no teeth? He literally had no teeth - I was surprised that I even understood him say "the only reason I'm stopping is because you're beautiful" - this is also a crosswalk sir...I have the right of way 😑"

Mile 9 (14.5km) - "I SWEAR if I start my period on race day...I will cry!"

Mile 10 (16km) - I saw this badass little 4yr old blonde boy with long hair skateboarding and I thought to myself, "I hope I have a kid as badass as he is." That same boy then ran straight into a little girl (about the same age) on her scooter making her fall to the ground; he then yelled 'why the hell weren't you watching where you were going!?' and skateboarded off again. I had visions of myself sprinting straight into him and yelling 'why weren't you watching where you were going?!' ... Am I a bad person? 

Mile 11 (17.7km) - HALFWAY! "Do I really have to do 1mi. of stairs right now like the training calls for!?" *start climbing a big ass set of stairs - phone vibrates and says 20% power left* "I'm just gonna run home now...music is more important than these stairs - although I may regret saying this in 3 weeks."

Mile 12 (19.3km) - "Hey lady, I appreciate you trying to hide that cigarette under your left arm as I passed you on the right, but I was breathing in that secondhand smoke from about 100m out! I have a really sensitive nose when I run..." *cough cough cough* 

Mile 13 (20.9km) - "GU is gross. They must've named it that because it rhymes with 'ew'" *makes the most disgusted face as I try and swallow the gel down*

Mile 14 (22.5km) - "Walking this entire mile has hurt worse than running the last 13mi combined...oh my hips...ow ow ow."

Mile 15 (24.1km) - It's an incredible feeling when your mind shifts from "Omg I STILL have 7mi left!?" to "Omg, I ONLY have 7mi left." Who am I!? 

Mile 16 (25.7km) - "I really hate Spotify ads! I mean seriously, what a pace killer!"

Mile 17 (27.4km) - "So this is what chafing feels like." *splashes water between my thighs to make it feel better* "It burns! It's burns! That DID NOT help."

Mile 18 (29km) - "What are you supposed to wear to an acupuncture appointment? It's on my hip...I can't wear pants, and a dress just exposes me too much. Shorts? Spandex? Underwear? I DON'T KNOW!!! It's skin-to-needle contact, right?"

Mile 19 (30.6km) - *phone dies* "Mental note: turn off wifi, screen brightness, and all notifications come race day...DO NOT FORGET!"

Mile 20 (32.2km) - "I'm lost. I'm in my own suburb, and I'm lost. How has this happened?"

Mile 21 (33.8) - "I could really use a few power songs to get me home right about now!" 

Mile 22 (35.4km) - "Everything hurts and I'm dying. I need a shake, and a shower...STAT!"